Not Kathy

My sister and I were born two years apart.  She, the elder, was always smarter, cooler, skinnier and, of course, more popular.  But then came the hard stuff.  She became a teen mom, and her baby was very sick.  She partied too much.  She was a single parent who worked the evening shift to support her and her daughter.  She wanted another child, but could not have one.  She got cancer.

Through all the struggles, she got angry; she cried; she locked herself in the bathroom; she yelled; and she threw things.  I always thought I would have handled all those situations far differently.  I was sure I would have been more controlled and together.  I was sure I would have been more efficient and organized.  I was sure I would have been more mature.    What an arrogant ass!

Or maybe I was just as inexperienced as she was when handling hard circumstances.  You see I never had any tough times or heart wrenching circumstances.  My children, all of them were born healthy.  And I, too, have always been healthy, a little overweight but aren’t most Americans.  I’ve truly been blessed.

I miss my sister a lot.  I always thought we were best friends despite how I annoying she told me I was.  I wish I had been more supportive of her struggles and more compassionate about what she was going through.   I wish I had held her more, listened more and visited her more.

My sister’s experiences and my reaction to them has helped me to see, now, through the eyes of Christ, how selfish I can be.   Through study of the life of Jesus, I can see his compassion toward others in action.  He is our example on how to do life.  Compassion does not come naturally to me, but through His guidance and by following His example, I can be compassionate.  I just have to work at it.  I cannot go backward and change, but I can go forward and change.  Not Kathy, but the next person He puts in my path.

Daily Prompt – Not Lemonade

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